• GALATIANS 5:15 (NKJV): “But if you bite and devour one another, beware lest you be consumed by one another!”
• EPHESIANS 4:3 (NIV): “Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.
• ROMANS 12:18 (ESV): “If possible, so far as it depends on  you, live peaceably with all.”

MISSION IMPOSSIBLE: Keeping the Peace

LET’S ZOOM IN on our lovable neighbors, Darryl and Marcia.Typical of their neighborhood, they’re in their late 30s to mid 40s, with three children in middle school and high school.

Our lovebirds have finished dinner. The children are dispersed to their rooms to finish homework before settling into some TV time, and Darryl and Marcia are cleaning up. 

What seems like a routine conversation, basic husband-and-wife question-and-answer stuff, turns into a heated contention, with each partner flinging words they hope our Lord doesn’t hear. (Fat chance of that!) 

How does that happen, they ask themselves afterwards, sulking and hurt. Why do we do that?

The Bible tells us it’s in our hearts: 

“Who can understand the human heart? There is nothing else so deceitful; it is too sick to be healed.” – Jere. 17:9-11 (GNT)

At this point, it doesn’t matter what our neighbors were discussing, nor which one of them (if either) was right. What matters is that two people who love one another, who sought each other out and committed to one another, can still argue over what is, in the larger scheme of things, essentially trivial.

WHAT HATH GOD WROUGHT?

WE’RE ALL IN *MIXED* MARRIAGES. 

Typically, we think of mixed marriages as two people from different races or religions, or maybe different social classes, even if we don’t state it outright.

But, even within our “tribe,” our marriages are mixed because we pair a female with a male. Whether we’re familiar with the various books  comparing men and women as Mars and Venus¹ or Waffles and Spaghetti², we know from personal experience and our own interactions that we are markedly different, that oil and water have nothing on estrogen and testosterone. 

So, how do we “keep the peace” in a marriage between two different energies, no matter how much we love and desire one another? 

Solomon, the writer of Proverbs, has much to say about “contentious wives.” Consider Proverbs 19:13 and then 21:9 and then 21:19 and then 25:24 and then 27:15 and then again at 27:16. 

Solomon, considered the wisest man ever, gives us some six verses where he likens a difficult wife to the continual dripping on a rainy day, life in a desert, or living in the corner of a housetop. He complains that trying to restrain an emotional rant is like grasping the wind or oil that seeps through the fingers. (He doesn’t say “emotional rant,” but you know that’s what he meant.)

Solomon does not tell us whether the woman is contentIous because she’s a shriveled up, bitter malcontent or because she’s chaffing under the arrogance and selfishness of her monster husband. (We  can assume she’s responding to her husband’s failure to love her and protect her. If she were a malcontent when he met her, he probably would not have married her.) Of course, those verses apply as well to a woman living with an irritable husband!

Still, we get the point that, in today’s terms, “Happy Wife = Happy Life.”

SURVIVING MARITAL BATTLES

DOES MARITAL CONFLICT, once resolved, lead to a more fulfilling, satisfying union than one built mostly on lust and shared interests? We know the answer is “yes.” Any couple in their early 20s could build a marriage on physical attraction alone. 

But how do they manage to stay together, buy a house, raise a family, pay off the mortgage, send the children to college, finance their  retirement, and buy a burial plot together? What about all that arguing?

Do they argue? Do you argue? Doesn’t everyone argue?

Several years ago, our local church offered a series of Sunday morning adult classes on how to improve our marriages.

We hesitated to sign up for fear it would brand us as marital misfits, the couple everyone should avoid. To our surprise, when we walked into the classroom — late, of course, because of our hesitation — we saw most of our church friends there! 

In our book, those couples were the winners, the church’s poster people for happy marriages, and yet there they were, eager to learn how to make their marriages better.

SLOW TO ANGER

THE BIBLE’S WISDOM always gives us the best answer. Interestingly enough, we read admonitions to hold our tongues, especially when we’re angry. James (the Lord’s half-brother) tells us in James 1:19 to be “slow to anger,” while Proverbs 16:32 reminds us that he who is slow to anger is “better than a warrior.”

In his book, Sacred Marriage, Gary Thomas asks if God designed marriage more to “make us holy than to make us happy.” As much as we might like to believe the fairy tale endings of how the prince and the beauty “lived happily ever after,” the whole notion of marriage as preparation for Heaven makes more sense.³

Recalling two of Solomon’s bromides against angry wives, Proverbs 27, verses 15 and 16, let’s not overlook they set up verse 17, that as “iron sharpens iron,” so does one man (or one woman) sharpen another.

That could well mean that all of those marital tiffs, no matter how uncomfortable they may be at the moment, serve a greater purpose as  character building for our eternal lives with the Lord.

Even so, God makes it very clear that our “character building” exercises should not take us to sin. Consider both Ephesians 4:29 (“In your anger, do not sin”) and Psalm 4:4 (“Be angry, and do not sin.”)

POSTSCRIPT

PLEASE DON’T MISTAKE this meditation as a call to arms! We’re not promoting quarrels, tiffs, and hissy fits, but we are saying that marital discord may serve a greater purpose: smoothing out our rough spots to make us more like the Savior we worship.

We know that marital discord is part of the curse (see Gen. 3:16), where God tells Eve there will be conflict in her marriage. So, we know that every married couple has disagreements. 

But God continues to take care of His creation so that, even in the curse, He finds a way to make our discord pay off for us. 

Maybe this is just another example of Romans 8:28? There God tells us through Paul that God works “all things” to the good of those who love him and are called to His purpose.

PRAYER

HOLY FATHER GOD, how blessed we are to rest in Your loving care, to be redeemed by Your Son’s blood, to be kept for salvation by the Holy Spirit. You love us and nurture us, shaping us to be more Christ-like and preparing us for eternity with You. Thank You for your constant attention and for using even our sin to prepare us as a bride “without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.”⁴ In Jesus’ name we pray. AMEN

---

¹ John Gray, Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus, HarperCollins, 1994

² Bill Farrel and Pam Farrel, Men Are Like Waffles, Women Are Like Spaghetti, Harvest House Publishers, 2017

³Gary Thomas, Sacred Marriage, Zondervan, Grand Rapids, Mich., 2000

⁴Ephesians 5:27 (NIV)

• 2 Cor. 5:20 (NKJV): “Now then, we are ambassadors for Christ, as though God were pleading through us: we implore you on Christ’s behalf, be reconciled to God.”
• Matt. 10:33 (NASB20): “But whoever denies Me before men, I will also deny him before My Father who is in heaven.”
• James 4:17 (ESV): “So whoever knows the right thing to do and fails to do it, for him it is sin.”

WE’RE ALL EVANGELISTS

 “SAY, ISN’T THAT Rodney over there?”

“Hmm, yeah, I think so, why? 

The two voices cut into my alone time. I looked up from my computer as I perched on my stool at a small coffee shop round table, sipping coffee and trying to write.

Following their gaze, I spotted another young man sitting at a corner table, hunched over with his back toward us.

“I dunno,” the first man said. “It’s just, like, I don’t think he goes to church, or nothin’, you know? I mean, I don’t know, I just think we should go over and talk to ’im. Whaddya say?”

“Okay.”

Getting back to my work, I paid little attention as the two young men near my table slowly walked to Rodney’s table.

WHAT DO YOU SAY?

FORTUNATELY FOR ME, Rodney’s table was far enough away that I was not drawn into their conversation. 

I resumed writing, which, ironically enough, was a report on one of several books I had read recently about the importance of evangelizing the lost along with some pointers on how to do it. 

Somewhere in the haze, as I pounded word after word, I also wondered how those two young men — both apparently in their mid-twenties — would go about encouraging their friend to “try” church.

Would they take a direct route and hit him with a “Hey, how come you don’t go to church,” or would they “ease their way into it,” talk about sports first, maybe ask about his love life, and then bring up worship?

Whatever approach they tried, I gave them credit for making the effort, knowing that most people, even committed Christians, would have left Rodney alone and skipped the whole thing.

Why We Don’t Evangelize

THE EXPERTS TELL US there are numerous reasons people give for not evangelizing, most of which I understand, even if the Lord might not consider them valid.

A partial list might include:

• Feeling inadequate for the task
• Fearing rejection and humiliation
• Not knowing enough “Bible stuff” to hold a discussion
• Feeling stressed at the thought of approaching someone
• Wrong time, not enough time, wrong venue, too many people around
• Not my job — this is for the pastor or an elder 
• Fear of persecution if the person complains
• Considering one’s faith decision a personal matter
• Questioning how to start the conversation
• Fear of offending the person.

How about you? Do any of those items look like your list? 

My item made the list: Questioning how to start the conversation. 

I’m okay with the topic of faith once I’m started, but steering the conversation over to spiritual matters when we’re talking about secular things seems counter-intuitive. Other words might be “awkward,” “contrived,” “uncomfortable,” or even “impertinent” and “intrusive.”

ASKING POINTED QUESTIONS

EVENTUALLY, MY CURIOSITY forced me to step away from my writing to see how the young men were doing.

It was difficult to follow their conversation since all three faced away from me, but they looked engrossed in  whatever topic they were on. 

William Fay, a former super-salesman turned evangelist, says he focuses on asking questions, encouraging the other person to talk¹. 

He says to let the conversation take its course, not to interrupt or argue with them, and don’t debate them, just let them talk until it’s time to ask another question. Plus, he says, listen to their answers.

Here are his suggested questions:

1. Do you have any kind of spiritual beliefs?
2. To you, who is Jesus Christ?
3. Do you believe Heaven and Hell are real places?
4. If you died right now, where would you go? Why?
5. If what you believe were not true, would you want to know it? 

That last question, he says, is to get their permission to take them to God’s Word, which he always carries with him.

Usually, he says, even if it’s just shear curiosity, most people will play along, then he produces a copy of God’s Word, which he has marked up to guide him and his companion through a set script of selected verses.

Just Planting Seeds

FAY SAYS THE KEY is to show the other person the marked-up Bible and let them read the keyed verses out loud. Then ask them to explain what each verse means to them.

He uses these verses: 

• Romans 3:23 – “All have sinned.”
• Romans 6:23 – “The wages of sin is death.”
• John 3:3 – “Unless someone is born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God.” Instead of asking them to interpret the verse, he suggests asking them why they think God sent Jesus to die. (I like to add Galatians 2:21 here – “If righteousness comes through the law (good works), then Christ died in vain.”)
• John 14:6 – “I am the way.”
• Romans 10:9-11 – “If you confess your sins, you will be saved.”
• 2 Corinthians 5:15 – “Those who live should no longer live for themselves.”
• Revelation 3:20 – “I stand at the door and knock.”

CLOSE WITH KEY QUESTIONS

WHEN YOU SENSE it’s time to close the conversation, you need to find a way to leave a lasting imprint, especially  considering most people will not “come to faith” with the first conversation. 

Bill Fay suggests closing with … you guessed it … more questions! Why? Because that approach encourages your friend to think about the material, not just listen to you wind on … and on … and on.

His suggested questions are simple but profound, as well: Are you a sinner, Do you want forgiveness for your sins, Do you believe Jesus died on the cross for you and rose from the dead, Are you willing to surrender your life to Jesus Christ, and, finally, Are you ready to invite Jesus into your life and into your heart? 

Those are his suggested questions. I would change the final question to: Are you ready to receive God’s offer of the Holy Spirit, forgiveness of sins, and inexpresable joy? Are you ready to spend eternity with your Creator?

The reason I make that change is that the Bible says no one comes to the Father unless the Father draws him (John 6:44), so, technically, we do not invite Him into our hearts, we receive or accept His offer. 

Either way, through the appropriate questions, you are placing the onus on your companion to decide for himself (or herself) how he wants to live and where he wants to spend eternity.

EPILOGUE

A SCUFFLING OF CHAIRS alerted me to my erstwhile companions, who were standing now, about to leave their table.  

Rodney was embracing both men, so however they had conducted their business, they were parting on good terms.

As much as I yearned to learn how their conversation went, I realized at that moment that God’s plan for me was to see where God is working around me and join Him. 

In my heart, I said a quiet “goodby” to the three men and prayed, “Lord, show me who You want me to share the Good News with.”

PRAYER

O FATHER GOD, as I meditate on Your goodness and Your faithfulness, I’m drawn to Aaron’s blessing for Israel (Num. 6:24-26 NRSV), “The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make his face to shine upon you, and be gracious to you; the Lord lift up his countenance upon you, and give you peace.” O Lord God, may I be Your faithful servant. In our precious Savior’s name, AMEN

____________

¹ William Fay, Share Jesus Without Fear, B&H Publishing Group, Nashville, Tenn., 1999

• Genesis 2:18 (ESV): “Then the LORD God said, ‘It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.’”

• Genesis 2:22 (NKJV): “Then the rib which the LORD God had taken from man He made into a woman, and He brought her to the man.”

• Ephesians 5:33 (CSB): “To sum up, each one of you is to love his wife as himself, and the wife is to respect her husband.”

IS YOUR LIFE A DANCE?

WHEN A COUPLE DANCES, the male leads and the female follows, but when skilled dancers perform, all eyes are on the female. She makes the graceful, beautiful moves, the spins, the jumps, the poses — the fancy maneuvers. 

Every now and then, the male will shine, but his role is different. He’s given a support function: lifting the woman, guiding the woman, holding the woman … presenting the woman.

 Here’s how the dance breaks down …

>If the man is not smooth, fluid, and gently firm in his leading, it doesn’t matter how graceful the woman is, the dance will fall apart. 

>If the woman can’t be led or resists following so she can take the lead, the dance will be awkward and, potentially, even dangerous.¹

With this as backdrop, I want to take you now to Genesis, Chapter 2. 

IN THE BEGINNING

IT STARTED WELL.

God created man (Adam) from a clump of dirt. He created woman (Eve) from living tissue.  

Man was alone in the Garden, surrounded by inferior life forms and having communion only with God, a much superior life form. 

Woman was greeted by an equal life form, someone who was “comparable,” a man who loved her immediately. She was received, honored, and treasured.

Yet, despite their equality — and God told them they were equal — it must have been obvious to both of them that they were different. After all, they were naked. 

Since God made it clear they were equal and clear they were different, there was an obvious conclusion:

They were complementary, not interchangeable, they were made to fit together as one flesh … metaphorically like hand and glove, physically to reproduce, or complementarily as Headship and Submission.

Our relationship as man and woman mirrors the relationship of the Father with the Son and Holy Spirit, as well as Christ and the church, as well as the relationship of God and Man.  

Paul called it “a great mystery” (Eph. 5:32).

GOD LOVES TO DANCE

MOVING WITH GOD is very much like this dance. When we are led by the Holy Spirit, it opens the possibility for beautiful, wonderful, and powerful things to happen.

God loves to dance.

We’re designed to be God’s dance partner.

When we struggle over leading and submission, the  movements are never what they could have been.

We are out of synch, and the dance breaks down.

In our walk with Christ, we are learning how to dance and move with Him, so we may reveal Him to the world. This can only happen by the power of the Holy Spirit working in us, teaching us how to dance with God. 

HEADSHIP AND SUBMISSION

HEADSHIP AND SUBMISSION. Leading and following. Loving and respecting.

As we watch the dance, we hear the music. Sometimes, we focus on just one instrument — maybe a trumpet or clarinet, a violin or guitar, some percussion, possibly a saxophone or flute, a cello, certainly a piano. Other times, we enjoy the blended mix and resonate to the numerous harmonies. 

Of course, there’s always a conductor leading the musicians to keep everyone in synch.

Just as we hear the music when we watch the dance, so, too, we watch the dance as we hear the music, so that the dance becomes the visual image of the music.

DANCE AND MARRIAGE

FOR MARRIAGE TO WORK as God designed us — male and female — the partners need to dance, to flow together, the male leading and the female following, even though all eyes are on the female. 

We miss something very important if we focus on male headship as the prominent role, and female submission as merely secondary or dependent. 

Both are equally important, and just as the male was designed by God to lead, so, too, the female was designed by God to respond, to shine, to flourish — not to be subservient or a doormat or a servant — but to radiate. To be the center of attention. To reflect God’s glory, His beauty, His grace. 

But the woman can shine properly only if she is led properly … and only if she submits properly.

MARRIAGE AND BUGS

THE MARITAL RELATIONSHIP, when understood  properly, is like a bug — a hard protective covering on the outside, with a soft life pulse on the inside. 

The male is the head, the protective shield — while the female is the heart, the vulnerable protected interior.

So as we unpack this “headship” and “submission” stuff, let’s let the Bible tells us how to proceed. 

COMPETING VIEWS

WHAT DOES THE BIBLE SAY?

The Bible tells us not to conform to the world but to be transformed by the renewal of our minds — in Christ — and that to love the world interferes with our love for the Lord. 

WHAT DOES THE WORLD SAY? 

The world tells us its norms and values, and we see they conflict with what the Bible says … so,  naturally, we conclude that one of them must be wrong; the world concludes it’s the Bible. 

Why? Well, the most recent writing dates 2,000 years ago but stretches back another 1,500 years, whereas today’s thinking is current, modern, up-to-date. Plus, everyone is on board with the world’s values.

CONFLICTING VALUES

WHEN BELIEVERS COMPARE the world’s values with the Bible, they also see a conflict, yet believers conclude the Bible is correct and the world is wrong.

What are believers to do?

Jesus tells us we cannot serve two masters, for we will love the one and hate the other. His half-brother James tells us not to be double-minded, we can’t believe and disbelieve at the same time. 

So, it’s clear that for believers, we will follow the Bible. 

LOVE AND RESPECT

NOW, LET’S GO to Ephesians, Chapter 5. In this heavily quoted text as a guide to marriage, we’re told that man is the head of the woman, that man leads and woman follows, that man must love his wife, and woman must respect her husband and submit to him. ²

That is tough language and difficult for us to unpack without some consideration.

So, why Ephesians, Chapter 5? What happened between  Genesis, Chapter 2, when Adam and Eve, in their innocence and purity, enjoyed the dance, and Ephesians, Chapter 5, when God, through Paul, spoke sternly about our marital duties. Why was this lecture necessary?

The answer is found in Genesis, Chapter 3. Chapter 3 tells us how the dance broke down, how Eve bucked  Adam’s authority, how Adam failed to protect Eve, and how both Adam and Eve blamed God for their failure.

God immediately announced His remedy. We find it mentioned first in Genesis, Chapter 3, but it’s repeated in various forms throughout the Bible, but the part that concerns us most today is found in Ephesians, Chapter 5. 

GOD’S REMEDY EXPLAINED 

HERE WE LEARN that man is mandated by God to love His wife. We know from psychology and just our own experiences, that women want/desire/need to feel loved to feel secure.

We’re also told that woman is mandated to respect her husband. The same sources tell us that men need to feel admired/respected/congratulated to feel their worth, to feel qualified, to feel complete.

Paul makes the same point more succinctly in Ephesians 5:33 (NLT): “Each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.”

INTRICATE PARTS

NOW, LET’S SUM UP, looking at the parts that fit together to form the mosaic, the intricacy of small puzzle pieces that, when properly placed, produce a completed image.

As we look at the parts that make up headship and submission, we see the dance, the integral pieces, the oneness of two distinct but equal beings, their mutuality, their subservience and respect, honor and love … and their closeness, a closeness that is possible only with two equal but different parts, where one’s strength mirrors another’s weakness, and vice versa.

The summation of this essay is this: “headship and submission” do not mean, as the world tells us, that the male is dominant and authoritative while the female is secondary and pliant.  

Instead, we need to see headship and submission the way God designed us, the way the Bible tells us. 

To see that, we need to go back to the Garden, to those precious initial moments when God, basking in the glory of His fresh creation, presented Eve to Adam, the crowing moment of the Creation Story.

Eve is the glorious one in creation, the cherry atop the sundae, the beautiful one, the gracious one, the emotionally vulnerable one …

… and Adam? Adam is the worker, the one God will hold responsible for success and failure, the protective one, the provider, the hard shell, the leader. The sacrificial leader.

POSTSCRIPT

THINK OF JESUS whipping off his outer cloak, filling a wash basin, and cleaning His disciples’ dirty, dusty, smelly, sore feet, lovingly massaging their aches and pains.

That’s what Headship looks like.

Now think of Jesus, stripped, beaten, and nailed to a Cross, obeying the Father’s command for our sakes.

That’s what Submission looks like.

In both cases, Jesus was glorified. 

We, men and women, are called to do the same. As we play our parts as designed by God, we bring glory to Him.

We’re called to dance … with our marriage partner, with fellow believers, and with our God.

For those who are led by the

Spirit of God

are the children of God.

–Romans 8:14 (NIV)

PRAYER

ALMIGHTY GOD, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, we love Your creation, how You’ve fashioned  us, male and female, in Your image, to be Your image bearers on earth. You made us as man and woman to enjoy headship and submission, both in obedience to You. Heal our hearts, O Lord, from the sin that distorts that beautiful image of Adam and Eve, of our first parents, enjoying The Dance, feeling the music, moving their limbs, entering into embrace with each other and with You. Restore us, O Lord, to where we once were as You promise us future Eternity in Paradise. In Jesus name we pray, AMEN

__________

¹Dance story adapted from “God’s Dance, The Beauty of His Romance,” from Phill Urena’s book, REDEFINING GRACE, Destiny Image Publishers, Inc., ©2020, Kindle edit., pp 147-149.

²Image from Emerson Eggerichs’ book, LOVE AND RESPECT, Thomas Nelson Publishers, ©2004.

The tale of three men presents an interesting paradigm as each one relates to Jesus, the Christ of God. JUDAS spent three years in ministry with Jesus, yet never believed; BARABBAS was condemned to death by crucifixion, yet was released as Jesus took his place on the cross; yet THE THIEF, a life-long scoundrel suffering in agony while stapled to a torture chamber — the cross — came to see that the Man in the middle was the Jewish Messiah and believed.

JOHN 10:10 (NKJV): “The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly.”

JOHN 8:24b (BSB): “Unless you believe I am He, you will die in your sins.”

THREE RESPONSES TO JESUS

WHAT A SPECTACLE. Here is Jesus brought before the Jewish leaders, then before the Roman authorities. He is mocked, spit upon, beaten, then turned over for crucifixion.

We read of three men who were impacted deeply and eternally by His suffering.

• One man — Judas — had spent three years with Jesus, hearing Him teach, watching Him heal, and even being empowered himself to heal broken bodies and cast out demons, tratorously betrayed Him. In remorse, he returned the blood money the Jewish leaders had paid him, then hanged himself.
• Another man — Barabbas — was freed from the dungeon and the penalty of crucifixion he deserved, and left the scene, amazed at his good fortune, but no record of his gratitude or repentance. Perhaps he resumed his life of rebellion and was killed in a later skirmish.
• A third man — the thief — who presumably had led his short life stealing property from other people and was sentenced to die on the cross, an agonizing punishment of slow death from asphyxiation. Yet, while hanging from the tree in tremendous physical pain, he recognized Jesus as the Messiah, as the Son of God, and believed.

Of the three men impacted deeply that day by Jesus last moments, the thief alone was assured of eternal life through God’s grace. “Today,” Jesus said to him, “you will be with me in Paradise.

WHERE IS GOD WORKING?

WHAT DO WE SEE when we look around us? At this holiday time especially, many of us have our best opportunities to gather with family and close friends to share meals, desserts, conversation, and general “catching up.”

Yet, as Christians committed to obeying the Great Commission to tell others of our faith, what do we find as those familiar faces sit in our parlors and living rooms, gather around the great tables in our dining rooms, or mingle before the giant television set in our family rooms.

Do we see fellow believers? Some of us do, but many of us don’t.

Instead, do we see those who, like Judas, lead “good lives” according to worldly standards yet lack a personal knowledge of the Lord?

Do we see the scoundrels, like Barabbas, who seem to defy accountability and reckoning for their behavior?

Or do we see those, like the repentant thief, who realize living challenging lives according to their own needs and wants leads to an emptiness that begs for healing?

WHAT OUR FRIENDS NEED

WHAT CAN WE SAY to them, our friends and family members, those whom we love and have prayed for to encourage them to see Jesus as their friend and savior?

What did Jesus say to each of the three men we’re studying, Judas, Barabbas, and the thief?

As far as we know, His final testimony was lived out in His actions. He had preached to Judas and taught him for three years, and then warned him about what he was about to do.

We have no record of anything He said to Barabbas, but Barabbas must have turned around to look at Him as he was led out from prison. What did he see when he saw the Master?

WHAT SCRIPTURE TELLS US

WE KNOW FROM SCRIPTURE and from the life of Jesus that our testimony is comprised of our actions and our words, what we do and what we say, how we act and how we speak. They must be in synch, and they must reflect God’s Holy Spirit dwelling within us.

As we enjoy the holiday season with loved ones, we should reflect on our prayers for them during the preceding year. Were we consistent? Were we sincere? Did we pray out of rote or out of conviction?

• One man threw away three years of friendship and tutoring for 35 pieces of silver and a self-administered noose.

• Another man escaped a torturous death he deserved and, for all we know, never looked back, never changed.

• But a third man, struggling with excruciating pain just to breathe, called Him “Messiah” and was granted God’s grace.

POSTSCRIPT

OUR PRAYERS for our loved ones should reflect the grace of the Risen Lord, believing that His love is wide enough and deep enough to encompass all of those who don’t know Him — the casual Christian with whom we share a meal, the family rebel who glorifies himself (or herself) by avoiding the earthly penalty for their lifestyle, and the penitent — the one lost sheep the Shepherd can save.

PRAYER

Father God, we are ashamed to see ourselves reflected in the unbelievers who demanded our Lord’s crucifixion, wondering if we, too, would have cried out to crucify him and release for us the murdering thug Barabbas. Would we have accepted payment of 30 pieces of silver to turn Him in to the authorities, or would we, like the thief crucified beside Him, recognize who He was, the Messiah, even as the Apostles ran from the authorities and Peter denied Him? We only have to answer for ourselves today. So, Father God, help us who trust the Lord for our salvation share that conviction with those You place in our way who do not know Him. In Jesus’ magnificent and beautiful name we pray. AMEN

• Ezekiel 33:9 (NKJV): “Nevertheless if you warn the wicked to turn from his way, and he does not turn from his way, he shall die in his iniquity; but you have delivered your soul.”
• Acts 1:8 (ESV): “But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you, and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the end of the earth.”

We Are Ambassadors for Christ

THE MOST LOVING ACT we can do for another human being — be they man, woman, or child — is to tell them about God, both that He is a God of love and mercy and also that He is a God of wrath and justice.

The world teaches that we should affirm everyone’s life choices, that we should not breath a word about God (especially about Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit), and that we should leave the word “sin” out of our conversation entirely.

God told the prophet Ezekiel that he was a “watchman” and that his job was to tell the Jews the truth of what God was saying to  them, that they had forgotten His deeds on their behalf and forsaken His commandments, especially the First One — “I am the LORD your God, … You shall have no other gods before me.” (Exodus 20:2-3 NIV). 

God’s message to his prophet was simply this: “You tell the people what I tell you to tell them. If they listen, both you and they will be saved; but if they don’t listen, you will be saved because you obeyed, but they will die in their sins.”

The third option was the least pleasant for everyone: “If you don’t tell them what I tell you, and they die in their sins, so will you for your disobedience.”

WE ARE ACCOUNTABLE

SINCE WE’RE ON this side of the Cross, we come under the Law of Grace, not the Law, but we are still called to be God’s watchmen to the people in our lives, and we are still accountable for our obedience … as well as our disobedience.

OUR BIG OPPORTUNITY

IMAGINE THIS SCENE: It is Christmas dinner, and you are surrounded at the big table — with the leaves installed, the candles lit, and the good silverware arranged around the dinner plates — with your loved ones.

You can enjoy seeing your children all grown up with husbands and wives of their own and the smiling cherubic faces of excited little children, looking so much like their mothers and fathers,  that your heart swells with the joy of the moment.

Yet, beneath the laughter and the friendly banter, lies a dark film and behind that film lurks the evil of unrepentant hearts.

Your family — your most precious loved ones — are grabbing the festive secularism of Christmas while leaving the spiritual essence of the holiday far behind.

While you enjoy their bubbly presence at this long-for feast, your heart burns in anguish for their souls.

FAST TRACK TO HELL

HOW DO YOU TURN the conversation into one that turns their hearts toward the Lord’s outstretched hand, beseeching them to turn to Him in humility, seeking His grace and forgiveness, receiving Him into their lives as Lord and Savior.

How do you maintain your joyous countenance when you fear — no, you know! — that if they were to perish this very day on the drive home, they would spend an eternity without God, and their suffering would haunt you.

How can you change that?

We know we can’t change anything, only God can, so, first, we are called to pray … and pray … and pray.

Then, we, as God’s watchmen, can obediently speak a word or two for the Lord, striving to plant seeds (and possibly water seeds) while not tarnishing the moment.

William Fay’s “Share Jesus Without Fear” program offers some suggestions. Let’s look at them.

QUESTIONS TO ASK

NO SET OF QUESTIONS will change a conversation pattern if your audience is not interested in following, but most people have a desire to share their thoughts and opinions, so asking questions is a good starting place.

Here are Fay’s suggested questions:

1. Do you have any kind of spiritual belief? (Or, more simply, what is your spiritual belief?)
2. To you, who is Jesus? (Or, Who would you say Jesus is?)
3. Do you believe there are a Heaven and a Hell (Or, do you believe both Heaven and Hell exist?)
4. If you died right now, where would you go … and why?
5. If what you said were not true, would you want to know it?

The first four questions in that list should elicit an animated conversation, but don’t stope there! They are merely set-ups for the fifth question. Let’s look at it again and focus on it:

>If what you said were not true, would you want to know it?

Just lay the question out there. Be patient. Be silent. Wait. Let the words sink in. Even if someone pridefully dismisses the question, even the most jaded is likely to be curious enough to ask, “Okay, so what are the right answers?”

BE READY TO POUNCE

THIS IS YOUR Big Moment.

The Bible tells us (1 Peter 3:15) to “be ready” to share your faith. 

Examine your arsenal: a brief personal testimony, the four-part Plan of Salvation, a few general Bible truths (God died for sinners, Jesus is Truth, God loves you), and the reality that only those who believe in Jesus will spend eternity with Him. The rest will not.

Be ready to pray with them, whoever is willing to call on the Lord. The others can listen to the prayer and jeer, if they want, but probably they will realize the seriousness of the moment and not act out. 

As born-again Christians, we are ambassadors for Christ (2 Cor. 5:20) and His watchmen (Ezek. 33:7). He has turned the job of witnessing for Him over to us (Matt. 28:19-20), and He expects us to deliver.

This is an awesome opportunity to thank our Lord for His saving grace by sharing the Good News with our families, friends, and neighbors, but also an opportunity to show our obedience to the Almighty.

You are to be My Witnesses.

I call you to be My Ambassadors.

I have appointed you as Watchmen.

PRAYER

Dear Father God, please save our families. Please turn the hearts of our loved ones to You. Humble them to seek You out and confess their need for You, that only Your Son can deliver them to healing, to peace in their souls, to forgiveness … and to life. Then, Lord, help us carry out our role as facilitators, as ambassadors, as witnesses, as watchmen … as You have appointed us. Come now, Jesus. You are both our Sacrificial Lamb and the Lion of Judah. It’s in Your name and through You that we lift this prayer. AMEN