God assures us through the Apostle Peter that He wants only good things for His children, but the primary goal of His calling on our lives is not to grant us our every wish for this life, although He often does, but to prepare us for glory, for an eternity with Him.

---

LIFE LESSONS: (Spoiler Alert: Only the 3^rd one works)

1. Get Back Up and Try Harder
2. Take Stock of the Situation and Adjust
3. Care for Our Soul – Find Our Peace and Guidance in God.

1. GET BACK UP

IN MY OWN LIFE, I have experienced many of life’s challenges; and when I’ve failed, I try to rescue myself and push on.

That helps to some extent, doesn’t it? It certainly gets us moving again, and that’s a good thing; but it’s limited in its utility. Why? Because our self-help strategies at best are a temporary solution to what could be a long-term or permanent situation. 

Personal Example – Marriage #1 

• Lack of wisdom (could not identify our difficulties)
• Lack of spiritual bond (no common core)
• Lack of family support (our families opposed the marriage).

There’s a maxim, credited to Albert Einstein, that “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.” 

> Getting back up and trying harder doesn’t change the situation; it only makes us more determined to try the same solution, expecting a better outcome. Image of trying to break open a stuck door.<

2. TAKE STOCK

TAKING STOCK MEANS looking for a better solution. Engaging our minds. This actually is an improvement over Trying Harder because at least we are engaging our mind, not just our will. 

Getting back up and trying harder can be repeated ad nauseam before we realize that doing the same thing leads to the same end. So, eventually, we look for a better solution. When there’s growth, it comes when— or if — we look *inward* for a solution, instead of *outward.*

Personal Example – Marriage #2

• Lack of shared experience (different life histories)
• Lack of shared expectations (which one of us was to make us happy)
• Lack of purpose (no children, no shared house, no clear vision, no spiritual core).

Admittedly, these are “big ticket” items. Marriage decisions impact our lives for years as well as the lives of our children and, therefore, of our grandchildren. Get it wrong, and you can mess up a bunch of lives for a long time, even generations.

If we focus solely on ourselves (our needs, our wants, our desires), we continue to overlook the bigger picture. What is going on here and why? If we focus on God, then we have a source we can go to for understanding and for comfort.

At this point in my life that I am describing, I focused solely on myself and my wants. God had not entered the picture. [Well, actually, He had, but I wasn’t aware of it yet.]

When I faced my second divorce, and afterwards a series of aborted relationships, some of which (I thought at the time) could have led to marriage, it slowly dawned on me that there was a common element harming each of those relationships … ME! 

I was the common element. In short, I was the problem. I wasn’t the only problem, but I was the only problem I could fix. As the comic strip character Pogo said, “We have met the enemy, and he is us!”

No matter how much I wanted to blame someone else, this was my problem. I was a contributing factor, and it was my responsibility to fix it. My character, who I was inside, was broken and needed healing. Until I recognized that and began to deal with it, I would never heal.

>Taking stock of our lives is an improvement, for sure, over trying harder because it requires us to begin thinking about why our lives aren’t turning out the way we want them to. Taking stock becomes more valuable as a fix-it tool if we are willing to look at ourselves — to look inward — as the possible problem.

>However, it still doesn’t resolve our difficulties unless we’re willing to get help from an outside source. We can’t do this all by ourselves.<

So, when trying harder doesn’t work, and taking stock of the situation doesn’t include all of the relevant elements (like our own involvement), then we need a whole attitude adjustment. 

This is what I came to see. When we can accept that we might be culpable for our own mistakes, our own faulty judgment, then we can begin to make necessary changes that could lead to a different, and better, outcome. 

It can be discouraging to realize your own culpability, but I believe it’s the first step we can take to improve our situations. We can’t change other people, and we might have limited ability to change our environment, but we have a whole host of possibilities at our command if we focus on changing ourselves.

That brings us to our third point:

3. CARE FOR YOUR SOUL

I BELIEVE GOD gives us that grace so we can take the steps necessary to make change. One of those steps we take could lead us directly to God’s throne – which most likely is His intent. 

What does it mean to “fix” something? How do you know what’s broken and needs fixing? Where do you go for the answers? Who can you trust? 

We easily can get stuck. Some people get stuck at the *try harder* phase, while I – and others like me – can park for years on the *take stock* phase, blaming everyone and everything but ourselves, rolling different ideas over and over, while failing to find the right key — the one that unlocks the door.

All of those who are unwilling to open their lives to the Lord’s hand will find diversions to deaden their pain: overwork, entertainment, exercise, gambling, substance abuse, adultery — each of which carries its own penalty. Each one of them causes harm to the person physically or emotionally or financially, yet we hold onto our “fix.”

When, finally, we are willing to look inward, to look at ourselves, at what we bring to the equation, we can — in humility — begin to find workable answers. 

But since we’re on our third point — caring for our soul — we need to emphasize that *soul care* requires a personal relationship with the Lord. We cannot do that on our own. 

Finding answers does not necessarily mean fixing or changing our situation; at least not right away. It might be limited to just fixing the way we react to a situation. Do we live in bitterness? Or do we live in God’s grace?

The Bible tells us not to blame God for our circumstances. He is not the cause of our problems, but He offers to be the solution. 

He never promised us we would never suffer; He promised only that (1) He would suffer alongside us and (2) In the end, if we believe, our future will be in Heaven with Him.

God is more interested in our eternal state than He is in our temporal state, even though we, in our human frailty, mostly focus on the temporal.

• “In all this, Job did not sin or charge God with wrongdoing.” Job 1:22 BSB
• “I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.” John 16:33 ESV
• “We know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.” Romans 8:28 NKJV

Just like a picture puzzle, there’s only one piece in the box that will satisfy the demands of that empty space you’re looking at. 

Only one.

3. RECOGNIZING SOLUTIONS

GOD CAN BE so good to us. In my case, His goodness led to yet a third marriage, but this time to a born-again Christian. This was – and is – a grace note to my life. 

Personal Example – Marriage #3

God did not have to restore my home life to include a wife. A good wife was not part of God’s promise to me for some accomplishment on my part, although she certainly is a bonus prize.

Also, God did not present this woman to me, much as eons earlier He had presented Eve to Adam, until after I had made two important life changes:

• (1) I accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior, and
• (2) I humbly told the Lord I would accept His plan for my life, even if His plan did not include remarriage.

Within hours after I made that prayer, God brought that woman to my attention.

I never really fixed anything for more than a brief time until I examined my soul.

I FOUND THE ANSWERS TO MY QUESTIONS IN THE ONLY PLACE WHERE I COULD FIND ANSWERS: JESUS CHRIST.

Don’t say “That’s just Christian Speak.” They always go there. No, folks, this is real. This is the real deal. Jesus Christ is the Answer to life’s baffling questions.

>Coming to faith in Jesus Christ was not an easy process for me, nor is it, really, for anyone because we’re called to submit our wills and our lives to Someone else. That can be very uncomfortable.<

That goes against our grain of self-determination. 

• We cling to that Free Will God gave us. 
• We don’t want to let go, even when letting go and letting God will lead us to a much better place than we can make on our own. 
• Even when we know it will, we’re often reluctant to trust God and take that fist step.

The Bible gives us encouragement and a warning:

• ENCOURAGEMENT: “I am the vine; you are the branches. The one who remains in me and I in him produces much fruit, because you can do nothing without me.” – John 15:5 CSB
• WARNING: “The prudent see danger and take refuge, but the simple keep going and pay the penalty. – Proverbs 27:12 NIV 

The actual steps are simple … yet, unfortunately, so difficult to accept.

• Admit you’re a sinner, 
• Accept that Jesus is THE GOD MAN and that He lived a perfect life and died a painful death to atone for your sins, and 
• Then receive Him into your heart to be both your Savior and Lord.

Now, once we’ve come to accept the Lord Jesus as the master and ruler of our lives, then the real joy of living begins … because:

• We are called as His disciples and followers to be on mission.
• We are called to tell others what God has done for us.

4. GOD’S MARVELOUS PROMISE

HOW DO WE do that? How do we live on mission for others?

These are three things you can do, and I’m preaching to myself here, too:

1. We can pray for others – is there anyone you are called to pray for?
2. We can smile and be pleasant — are you a pleasant person to be around?
3. We can befriend them – do you routinely consider the needs of others?

Our church says we ought to live out our lives in such a manner that we earn the right to tell others about Jesus. Our lives are our first message to the world.

Let’s be clear: Jesus already gave us the right to tell others about Him when we were saved and He commissioned us. With that behind us, we must live out the Gospel message so that our words will be in synch with our actions.

While humbling ourselves to accept Jesus can be difficult — we don’t like giving up control — we’ll never regret coming to faith, but we will regret not having come to faith sooner. The Bible clearly states the terrible fate that awaits those who never come to faith. Pride leads to destruction.

Pride is …

• The original sin
• The great crippler.

LET’S RECAP THIS:

1. Trying harder doesn’t work because it yields the same result.
2. Taking stock is a step toward improvement because we’re starting to think about our situation, but its utility depends on our analyzing all the important variables – including those pointing back to ourselves. In the end, it still depends on self-improvement, which is limited in its utility.
3. Surrendering our lives to the Author of life is the saving grace because now we’re “teachable” and under the tutelage of the Master. It’s the only solution that works. 

CONCLUDING SCRIPTURE:

“In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while, if need be, you have been grieved by various trials … yet believing, you rejoice with joy inexpressible and full of glory, receiving the end of your faith – the salvation of your souls.” – 1 Peter 1:6, 8b-9 NKJV

SALVATION IS THE GREAT HOPE. 

THAT HOPE IS WHAT GIVES US JOY, COMFORT, AND PEACE IN THIS WORLD.

FINAL WORD

Jesus’ grace is sufficient even when our faith is weak.

1. There is no need to despair. 
2. There is no need to fear, nor be tormented by regrets, or constant wishful thinking. 
3. Believe in Him. He always tells us that He is the answer to life’s questions.

This is a lesson for me to learn, too. Like many of you, I struggle with regret. 

1. But whenever I focus on God – not on myself but on God – then my regrets float away, like a mist of smoke. 
2. Whenever I focus on myself, those regrets come storming back. 

• IF YOU HAVEN’T turned your life over to God, or you’re not sure if you have, let’s take care of that now. 
• IF YOU’VE DRIFTED AWAY from the Lord, but want to reconnect, let’s take care of that now, too.
• IF YOU HAVE turned your life over to God, let’s celebrate that and praise God for His goodness. 

God keeps His promises. You will not lose your salvation. 

• Why? Because you did not earn it. 
• God gave it to you as a gift. 
• This gift results from His grace.
• He wants to spend Eternity with you.

Together, we can pray prayers of 

• contrition, 
  • reconciliation, and 
  • praise.

PRAYER

Lord, I am a sinner. I need Your forgiveness and Your grace.

I believe Jesus is the Messiah, that He is Your Son, that He lived a perfect life and died on Calvary’s Cross for me, and that by believing in Him, I will be clothed in His righteousness, and You will forgive my transgressions and save even me. 

Abba, Daddy, come into my heart today, and be both My Lord and My Savior.

For those of us who have given our lives to God, we thank You, O Lord, for Your grace, for the boundless gift of life that You have promised Your own. 

Now draw us closer to You, O Lord, that we might walk as Jesus walked and talk as Jesus talked, all in Your name and for Your glory.

Lord, we honor You, we praise You, and we worship You. We lift this prayer in the mighty name of Jesus Christ. 

BENEDICTION

The word of the Lord as we end our worship and go into our mission field …

“For you have been born again, not of perishable seed, but of imperishable, through the living and enduring word of God.” – 1 Peter 1:23 BSB

The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you all.

AMEN

– Revelation 22:21 (NKJV)