- Ephesians 5:23-25 (NKJV): “For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. … Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her.”
- 1 Peter 3:7 (ESV): “Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.”
GOD’S HOLY DESIGN
GOD DESIGNED MEN to care for their wives. Men are to provide for them, love them, protect them, and help them raise their children.
They are to see that their homes are well managed, that their children are taught about God and moral virtue, and that discipline should be loving and not harmful to the self-confidence of their children.
Men are to submit their wills and temperament to Jesus Christ, who in turn submits His will and temperament to the Father.
Whenever anything goes wrong in the home, God will come looking for the husband-father. God will hold him responsible, regardless of what either his wife or his children do.
If the man does not treat his wife in the honorable way God demands, his prayers will be hindered.
Each one of those statements is drawn from Scripture.
MARRIAGE IS LIKE A BUG.
That doesn’t sound very appealing, does it, but it actually forms a beautiful picture of protective and nurturing harmony.
Picture the bug having a hard outer shell for protection while the life blood, its soft essential being, is on the inside.
So, too, with marriage. The husband-father is the hard outer shell, protecting his wife and children, while the wife-mother is the nurturing life force of the family. The family unit revolves around her. She makes the decisions and sets the family tone.
When the man fails to do his part, to live up to God’s calling on his life, the woman is forced to step into that role herself, a role she has not been designed to fill nor can she fill adequately.
Every woman who understands this principle will pray to God that her husband will guide her and lead her and be “the man” in her life and — this is very important — that he will take his cues from Jesus Christ in perfect submission.
STUDIES SHOW A REMARKABLE outcome that reinforces God’s call on a man’s life.
It goes to which family member carries the most influence in impacting how the family develops.
Surprisingly, it’s not the mother, although her role in the family is pivotal. She is the hub of the wheel.
Instead, it’s the father.
When the children influence their families in spiritual matters, they record a dismal 3.5 percent success rate. That jumps to 17 percent success when the mother influences the family spiritually.
But God called the father to influence the family, and He designed the man to carry out that role.
Studies show that when the husband-father influences the family in spiritual matters, the success rate far outpaces the 3.5 percent from the child-led and the 17 percent from the wife-mother led.
When the husband-father leads, the influence rate skyrockets to 93 percent!
LOVE AND RESPECT
WHEN WE’RE WILLING to look, we can see the wisdom of God’s planning and design.
In Ephesians Chapter 5, the apostle Paul tells men they are to “love” their wives, to make them feel secure and wanted, desired, treasured.
He also tells the women to “respect” their husbands, to submit to their authority as to the Lord, and to be a helpmate.
Think of the woman as the Holy Spirit in the Trinity, as the counselor, as the rudder on the ship, guiding and directing while desiring to follow her husband’s lead.
Think of the man as Jesus Christ in the Trinity, as the leader and the one God holds responsible. God will come looking for the man, as He did Adam in the Garden, even though Eve and Adam both failed to obey Him.
APPLICATIONS FOR TODAY
IT OFTEN IS EASY for marriages to develop along a “Y” shape. They begin with husband and wife working and living together as one unit until, slowly and surely, they veer off, the wife to care for the family and the husband to pursue his career.
One day they recognize they’re strangers to one another, even though each meant well. When this happens, generally it’s Eve who triggers the alarm, but it is Adam who has to pivot, recognize his wife’s heart-cry, and respond to her in love and resolve.
Adam must recalibrate his path along the trail laid down by Jesus and lead his marriage to repair the damage.
When he obeys the Lord’s lead, the results are worth the effort. When he disobeys, the consequences wreak havoc.
It’s God’s perfect design. He created us as man and woman to fulfill his plan for the human race. Women generally fulfill their nurturing role in caring for the children; it’s absolutely critical to society that men equally fulfill their role to lead — to protect, guide, and provide.
OUR FATHER IN HEAVEN, blessed be Your name. We are so grateful, Lord, for Your perfect design for men and women to become husbands and wives and together, fathers and mothers. We are to fit together, O Lord, like the common bug, with the woman’s soft life blood nurturing, and the man’s hardened shell protecting and providing. Together, Lord, two equal but differently designed humans fulfill Your plan for raising Godly children and subduing the earth. We pray, O Lord, that as men, we will lead our families by submitting our authority to that of Jesus Christ; we pray, as women, that we will respect our husbands as to the Lord. Lord, help the men live up to the task you’ve assigned them. To you, O Lord, belong all the honor, praise, and glory. In the name of Jesus we pray. AMEN